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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increasing frequency of satellite launches and space debris is becoming a threat to the Earth. What are the main causes? What measures can be taken to address this?

Nowadays, technology has increased
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. For the world,
space
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debris
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 and an increasing number of
satellite
Use synonyms
 launches have become a major
concern
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.
This
Linking Words
 threat is increasing
due to
Linking Words
 the issuance of numerous
satellites
Use synonyms
 and a limited number of strong international
laws
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 related to
space
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 junk. Shared
satellite
Use synonyms
 initiatives and strict clean-up
laws
Use synonyms
 can address
this
Linking Words
concern
Use synonyms
. Many private and government organisations are introducing their
space
Use synonyms
satellites
Use synonyms
;
this
Linking Words
 is fuelling threats to the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
Satellites
Use synonyms
 are issued for various purposes, namely weather reports, internet, telecommunication, and GPS, and for each purpose, these are launched by various organisations.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there is a great surge in the frequency of
satellites
Use synonyms
, which sometimes break and return to
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of strict international initiatives related to the collection or cleaning of
this
Linking Words
debris
Use synonyms
, the
earth
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 faces many harmful consequences. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue,
satellites
Use synonyms
 must be launched for multiple purposes.
For instance
Linking Words
, if multiple
space
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 exploration organisations work together and launch one
satellite
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 for more than one purpose.
Then
Linking Words
 there will be a smaller number of
satellites
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
space
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debris
Use synonyms
, junk material, cleaning and collection must be a major
concern
Use synonyms
 by international governing bodies. Introduction of strong
laws
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,
debris
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 collection
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
, and heavy fines must be applied to minimise
space
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debris
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 threats to the
earth
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. In conclusion,
space
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 exploration has become a major
concern
Use synonyms
 for many countries.
As a result
Linking Words
,
earth
Use synonyms
 is facing numerous threats
due to
Linking Words
 the issuance of
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
plenty of
satellites
Use synonyms
 and less strict
laws
Use synonyms
 related to
space
Use synonyms
debris
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend can be solved through shared
satellite
Use synonyms
 launches and strong
laws
Use synonyms
 associated with the cleaning of
space
Use synonyms
 material.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea with examples. This will help the reader understand your message better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas. This will make your writing flow better and be easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples and explain them. This can make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the problem and states what you will discuss. This sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points. It makes it clear what your views are on the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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