IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to wear more fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
fashion's
Change noun form
fashion
show examples
 trends quickly change and develop
according to
Linking Words
 human interest. By the way,
this
Linking Words
 attitude to wearing them has both positive and negative development.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will describe
this
Linking Words
 argument and find the middle of
this
Linking Words
 attitude.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are a lot of positive points to wearing fashionable apparel,
for example
Linking Words
, magnetic from a good-looking person, ease of finding these
clothes
Use synonyms
, and no sense of alienation.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
, following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fashion's
Change noun form
fashion
show examples
trends
Add the comma(s)
trends,
show examples
 might be the beginning of
career
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
 for many
people
Use synonyms
 to become a designer, an artist, or an influencer. In fact, Wearing fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
 can boost a person's confidence and self-esteem. When
people
Use synonyms
 feel good in their
clothes
Use synonyms
, they often feel more positive about themselves and their interactions with others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fashion can influence
people
Use synonyms
 to overspend their money with the rapid change of trend.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when they consume more, discarding
clothes
Use synonyms
 will contribute more and lead to pollution and waste, causing environmental issues that will impact the future.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
keeping follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 trendy apparel,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
slightly reduces
people
Use synonyms
's personalities, which can cause negative
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
 health effects. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, fashionable
clothes
Use synonyms
 have both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages and disadvantages.
For my
Change preposition
My
show examples
 personal, I prefer that the disadvantages side
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 the negative effects more, either the human or the world level.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on fashion, whether it is positive or negative. This helps set the direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to divide your paragraphs more clearly. Each should have one main idea and examples to support it. This will help your essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (like 'however', 'moreover', and 'firstly') to connect your ideas and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
In the conclusion, clearly restate your opinion. It is good to summarize your points, but make sure to say what you think overall about fashion.
task achievement
You have introduced both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
Your ideas about how fashion boosts confidence are very relevant and relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fashionable
  • important
  • clothes
  • attitude
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • express
  • personality
  • creativity
  • industry
  • jobs
  • economy
  • opportunities
  • pressure
  • trends
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • overspending
  • environmental
  • pollution
What to do next:
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