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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is debatable whether institutional
education
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 should begin at a young
age
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 or wait until
age
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 seven.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion. On the one hand, the first and foremost reason behind the thinking of starting early
education
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 is learning capabilities. To clear it, during childhood, everyone is free from stress, and tension, and they don't have any burdens, so they can learn easily and quickly;
whereas
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, at a younger
age
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, there are a lot of things to think which makes people distracted from their studies.
For example
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, in a government school in India, students are allowed to get admission only if they are up to 7 years old,
while
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 private institutes allow after two;
as a result
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, the kids of private schools are more knowledgeable compared to government institute pupils.
On the other hand
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, the opponents believe that if we begin formal
education
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 at an early
age
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,
then
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 it decreases their playtime and social interaction, and
also
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 puts mental pressure on them.
Consequently
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, they have a lack of social connection and family time, which makes them feel away from family and a sense of loneliness.
For instance
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, countries like Finland delayed
education
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 until 7, consistently performing well in global rankings, suggesting that later studies do not mean a compromise with academic success, even promoting well-rounded development.
To conclude
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,
while
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 early
education
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 can be advantageous in certain circumstances, formal schooling should ideally begin around the
age
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 of seven.
This
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 allows children sufficient time to develop foundational emotional, social, and motor skills through play-based learning, which are essential for long-term academic and personal success. A balanced approach that incorporates informal learning before
age
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 seven, followed by structured
education
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, is the most beneficial path for children.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has clear main ideas. Try to clarify the connection between ideas better. For example, explain how your examples directly support your points.
task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly outlining the main points you will discuss. Also, clarify your opinion in the introduction so readers know your stance right away.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, giving statistics or more details about the success of education systems could make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You clearly presented both sides of the argument, which shows that you understand the topic well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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