IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

on
Change preposition
To
show examples
 my
knowlage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we have to learn more
abaut
Correct your spelling
about
 the
sosia
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 first. because
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 can make you richly very much and poorly very much
also
Linking Words
 if you can't
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
progress your self on
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
. may
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
be you can be a
famaus
Correct your spelling
famous
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 in the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 you can get
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 trend. but you may have to get the best on your
scurity
Correct your spelling
security
 in your
datas
Correct your spelling
data
. in the other section maybe you will be the bad
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
specially
Change the adverb
special
show examples
 people who don't like you, so you have to make your
privasy
Correct your spelling
privacy
 become
godness
Correct your spelling
goodness
 first. I have
some
Add a missing verb
had some
show examples
 bad
experion
Correct your spelling
experience
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have a public
account
Use synonyms
 on
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 and my
account
Use synonyms
 is very
famaus
Correct your spelling
famous
 so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 some
hacker
Fix the agreement mistake
hackers
show examples
 are hack my
account
Use synonyms
 so i get lose my money there and
also
Linking Words
 my
privasy
Correct your spelling
privacy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 private again because the hacker
was know
Change the verb form
knew
show examples
 about
my self
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
 on
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
. In
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 of my
Correct your spelling
experience
experion
Add a comma
experion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was never been given my private ID or my speciality information infut to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
, because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have no best
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 make it some key for every
account
Use synonyms
 of my social
media
Use synonyms
. fathemore you can
also
Linking Words
 start
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 on your public
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 because in there you get many
ather
Correct your spelling
other
trick
Change to a plural noun
tricks
show examples
 to get the best on your target.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly introduce your main ideas in the first part of your essay. A good start makes it easier for the reader to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each main idea. This helps the reader understand your thoughts better.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to restate your opinion in the conclusion to remind the reader of your main position.
task achievement
You shared a personal experience which adds a unique touch to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: