IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010.
The line chart depicts details about European citizens of various
age
Use synonyms
 groups who
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
gyms once a month or more from 1990 to 2010. After analyzing the line chart it can be seen clearly that a small number of
people
Use synonyms
 used to visit
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 25 to 34 gradually increased to 20
percent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 of other
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Add an article
the pervious
show examples
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
year
Use synonyms
. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1998, 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 18 to 24 went to
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 and it rose steadily up to 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2006. After that it
reamin
Correct your spelling
remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
theline
Correct your spelling
the line
 chart shows that in the
year
Use synonyms
1998
Add a comma
1998,
show examples
 only 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
ofpeople
Correct your spelling
of people
 of middle
age
Use synonyms
 35 to 44 went to
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 but
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
year
Use synonyms
 2010, the ratio reached
uo
Correct your spelling
up
 to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Citizen of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 group 45 and above who visited the
gym
Use synonyms
 was between 10 to 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 only during the whole period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportion of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
gruop
Correct your spelling
group
groups
 who visited the
gym
Use synonyms
 was 25 to 34.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 45 and over have the lowest numbers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, gym, year, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: