IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is better for individuals to learn new skills through online courses, while others think traditional classroom learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that online learning courses are better for learners,
while
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 others believe that in-person
classes
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 are more effective. In my point of view, I believe that in-person education provides a more comprehensive learning experience, as it offers direct interaction between teachers and
students
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 and offers an environment that allows effective learning. On one hand, many people believe that learning through online
classes
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 is more beneficial because of its convenience. Learners can study from any location and is often more affordable than traditional education.
As a result
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, online courses can help
students
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 reduce both time and cost.
However
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,
this
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 method of learning tends to be less interactive.
For instance
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, some skills
such
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 as cooking require step-by-step guidance and immediate feedback, which can be difficult to provide through a screen.
Therefore
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,
students
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 may end up losing interest and fail because they struggle to fully follow the lessons.
On the other hand
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, traditional education offers a comprehensive learning experience through in-person instruction and an appropriate learning environment.
Students
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 can be more focused and engaged, as they are surrounded by peers and instructors who can offer immediate clarification and monitor
students
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 closely.
As a result
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,
students
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 are more likely to gain knowledge and achieve success. It is often observed by many studies that
students
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’ performances are better when teachers teach them through on-site
classes
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 compared to online
classes
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. In conclusion,
while
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 online courses offer flexibility and cost savings, they often lack interaction and guidance that are essential for learning.
Nevertheless
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, traditional learning provides a more effective and engaging educational experience, especially for skills that require real-time feedback and a structured environment.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide clear examples for your points. For instance, when discussing interaction in classrooms, you could mention specific activities or methods that are effective.
coherence and cohesion
Include connectors like 'however', 'moreover', or 'in addition' to improve the flow of ideas. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, consider summarizing your main points in a more defined way. This will help reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion and structure, which is great. You have separated the two views well and provided your own viewpoint clearly.
task achievement
You offer some good points about the advantages of traditional learning, showing a good understanding of both sides of the argument.
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