Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In recent years,
it is clear that
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many
species
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have been endangered because their numbers have been significantly decreasing.
While
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this
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phenomenon is caused by human exploitation and industrial manufacturing activities, hope can be found in demands for governments to release restrictions on the time of these actions. One principal root of
this
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trend is that humans are overusing natural resources in terms of animals.
In other words
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, people hunted or killed millions of creatures for commercial purposes.
As a result
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, many
species
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experienced a fall in their numbers.
For example
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, tigers in Vietnam, despite being annually reported to be endangered creatures in 1977, hunters kept catching them
due to
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poor regulations by the governments before those
species
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were absolutely extinct in 2011. Another crucial element contributing to
this
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tendency is the industrial production. Simply put, owing to industrialization, there are more and more factories which constantly produce in order to satisfy the markets;
however
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, they frequently generate toxic by-products that destroy the environment of many
species
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.
Consequently
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, the animals' habitats are contracted every year until the extinction eventually happens. For illustration, polar bears whose icey land is melting in Artics because of global warming caused by Carbon Dioxide from factories. In order to address
this
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problem, restricting
such
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activities is needed conducting. In fact, hunting animals and producing goods are necessary to society, so that none of the government can totally stop it;
nonetheless
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, they can relieve the impact may have on the environment. In
this
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situation, the latest policies of the USA asserted that working over 10 hours per day is illegal,
this
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resulted in a considerable regeneration in the numbers of endangered
species
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like bald-head eagles. In conclusion,
while
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the tendency of
species
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extinction is caused by overhunting and unfavourable by-products from mass-producing, it can be tackled by governments' time restrictions.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your ideas. Some parts are confusing and could use more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between your ideas. This will help connect your paragraphs better.
relevant specific examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, like tigers in Vietnam and polar bears.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the points made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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