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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts and table below show the percentage of customers choosing different kinds of websites when shopping online and the percentage of customers shopping online for different reasons in two countries in 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts and table below show the percentage of customers choosing different kinds of websites when shopping online and the percentage of customers shopping online for different reasons in two countries in 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams present data on the proportion of people in Australia and New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 who used different types of online shopping platforms in 2012,
along with
Linking Words
 the main reasons they chose to shop online.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of online shoppers in
both
Use synonyms
 countries preferred to use a mix of overseas and local websites,
while
Linking Words
 reliance solely on local platforms was the least common. Price was the most compelling reason for shopping online,
whereas
Linking Words
 other unspecified motivations were mentioned the least. Looking first at platform preferences, 64% of Australian shoppers and 50% of New Zealanders used
both
Use synonyms
 overseas and local websites, making
this
Linking Words
 the most popular choice in
both
Use synonyms
 countries. A notable share of users—36% in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 and 24% in Australia—opted exclusively for overseas websites.
By contrast
Linking Words
, shopping solely through local platforms was relatively rare, accounting for 14% of New Zealanders and just 12% of Australians. When it comes to the reasons behind online shopping, lower prices were by far the strongest driver, cited by 59% of Australian users and 51% of those in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. Convenience played a more significant role in Australia (23%) than in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 (13%). Interestingly,
while
Linking Words
 a broader selection of products was a relatively minor factor for Australians (16%), it was a much more influential reason in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
, where over a third of respondents (34%) saw it as a key advantage.
Finally
Linking Words
, only 2% of participants in
both
Use synonyms
 countries reported other personal reasons, indicating that the core motivations were largely shared and practical.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words zealand, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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