Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?

Music
Use synonyms
today has emerged as a global phenomenon. Some people believe that
music
Use synonyms
is an excellent way to bring together individuals from different cultures. Personally, I agree with the aforementioned statement. It is vital to understand that
music
Use synonyms
can become a universal language which helps
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
to get closer.
This
Linking Words
means that
music
Use synonyms
often transcends language barriers, even if they do not understand the lyrics, they can connect with the rhythm, melody and emotion.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
can serve as a tool that helps the artist convey meaningful messages.
As a result
Linking Words
, not only helps individuals to get closer but
also
Linking Words
it can bridge the gap between nations and cultures. In summary,
music
Use synonyms
can be very useful and beneficial in helping the society. Another reason worth consideration is that some
music
Use synonyms
concerts or events can be held in order to share experiences with others who have the same interests.
In other words
Linking Words
, these events can be organised not only to help people blow off some steam but
also
Linking Words
gathering
Change the verb form
to gather
show examples
everyone from diverse backgrounds to come together to enjoy a common interest and share some experiences.
This
Linking Words
will lead to the emergence of some small, new communities that could be very useful in bringing people together
as well as
Linking Words
connecting ways of life around the world. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
is often viewed as a form of art, it can
also
Linking Words
serve as an effective tool in contributing to the well-being of societies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the writer has shown some reasons including a universal language and shared experience to prove that
music
Use synonyms
is helpful.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, especially about how music brings people together. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly linked to your thesis. This will enhance your logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, such as 'firstly', 'for instance', and 'in addition'. This will help your reader follow your argument easily.
structure
You have a clear agreement with the statement in your introduction and a well-defined conclusion.
content
Your writing demonstrates an understanding of how music connects people emotionally and socially, which is a strong point of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: