IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city street is to lower the speed limit but other think that are more important issue is that need attention before roads can be safe .Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In today’s bustling urban environments,
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 remains a perennial concern for both policymakers and the general public.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that reducing speed
limits
Use synonyms
 is the most effective means of curbing
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
, others contend that addressing underlying infrastructural issues is paramount for ensuring long-term
safety
Use synonyms
. In my view,
although
Linking Words
 lowering speed
limits
Use synonyms
 can offer immediate benefits by mitigating the severity of collisions, a comprehensive
strategy
Use synonyms
 focused on improving
road
Use synonyms
 infrastructure and enhancing
driver
Use synonyms
 education is essential to achieving sustainable
safety
Use synonyms
improvements
Use synonyms
. Advocates of reducing speed
limits
Use synonyms
 emphasize the direct correlation between speed and the severity of
accidents
Use synonyms
. Empirical evidence indicates that at lower speeds, drivers have more time to react to unforeseen hazards, which can substantially decrease both the likelihood and impact of collisions.
For instance
Linking Words
, studies from various metropolitan areas have consistently demonstrated a decline in fatality rates following the implementation of reduced speed
limits
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, speed restrictions are relatively inexpensive to enforce and can be swiftly implemented, providing a prompt response to urgent public
safety
Use synonyms
 concerns.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 singular focus on speed reduction does not address many other risk factors
such
Linking Words
 as poor
road
Use synonyms
 design and inadequate signage, which continue to compromise
driver
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, proponents of focusing on infrastructural
improvements
Use synonyms
 argue that the root causes of many
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 lie not solely in excessive speed, but in a broader range of problems inherent in urban
road
Use synonyms
 design. Issues
such
Linking Words
 as poorly marked intersections, inadequate pedestrian crossings, and outdated
traffic
Use synonyms
 control systems often create hazardous conditions that no speed limit adjustment can remedy. Cities that have invested in modernizing their transportation networks and enhancing
driver
Use synonyms
 awareness programs have witnessed significant reductions in accident rates in the long term.
For example
Linking Words
, incorporating advanced
traffic
Use synonyms
 management systems and clearly delineated bicycle lanes not only minimizes conflict points but
also
Linking Words
 fosters a safer coexistence of diverse
road
Use synonyms
 users.
This
Linking Words
 approach,
while
Linking Words
 more capital-intensive upfront, embodies a holistic
strategy
Use synonyms
 that addresses the multifaceted nature of
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, a hybrid
strategy
Use synonyms
 that combines the immediate impact of lower speed
limits
Use synonyms
 with comprehensive infrastructural reforms provides the most robust solution for controlling city street
accidents
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 lowering speed
limits
Use synonyms
 serves as an expedient measure to reduce accident severity, it should be complemented by long-term investments in
road
Use synonyms
 design, clearer signage, enhanced public transportation options, and rigorous
driver
Use synonyms
 education.
Such
Linking Words
 a balanced approach not only addresses the symptoms of unsafe driving but
also
Linking Words
 rectifies the systemic issues that precipitate them. In conclusion, the debate over whether to lower speed
limits
Use synonyms
 or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prioritize infrastructural
improvements
Use synonyms
 highlights the complexity of
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 challenges in urban areas.
Although
Linking Words
 reducing speed can yield quick wins in terms of accident mitigation, only a comprehensive, multifaceted
strategy
Use synonyms
 can secure lasting
improvements
Use synonyms
 in public
safety
Use synonyms
. Policymakers should
therefore
Linking Words
 pursue an integrated approach that leverages both immediate regulatory measures and long-term infrastructural investments to create safer city streets for all.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The introduction lays out the topic well and clearly presents the two viewpoints. However, summarizing them a bit more simply could help readers follow your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, which helps with flow. To improve, consider using more linking words to connect ideas or points within paragraphs smoothly.
task response
You provide solid examples to support your points which make your argument strong. Just ensure that the examples relate directly back to the main points for maximum impact.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear arguments and examples supporting each viewpoint.
task response
You effectively present your opinion and back it up with logical reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: