Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

In
this
day and age, news always are cared about by all
people
. Some individuals argue that sharing as much data as possible in scientific study, business and the academic world is good.
However
, others oppose and believe that some
information
is too vital or too valuable to be shared freely. The following essay will discuss both views.
To begin
with, talking some
information
which is possible for everyone in scientific study, business and academic world is necessary. Because there is data which affects their lives and their society very much so if they have knowledge about it, they can have methods to prevent risks.
For example
, recently, VTV1 has talked about the issue that the ozone layer is destroyed very
large
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and humans should know about it so that they can plan to protect the world
such
as planting many green trees or restrict using plastic.
On the other hand
, there is much
information
which is too crucial and valuable so many individuals should not know. There are many things that can make citizens shocks or it is not still accurate affirmation at that time and when everyone
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
, it can be amplified so
this
information
should be private.
For instance
, in 2019, COVID-19 is a virus which is very dangerous and causes many deaths of
people
.
However
, the state did not set forth the number of
people
who died precisely
due to
it could make others afraid of
this
virus and they could not keep calm and
then
stored a lot of food so it caused a new problem which was a lack of food for citizens.
To sum up
, some
information
is impossible to share and we can share it with everyone but there is some
information
that is
too vital so it is not known by too many
people
.
Therefore
, in my opinion, we should think carefully and select the necessary
information
before talking about everything
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the supporting sentences are closely related. This clarity can significantly improve the flow and logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
While your essay does address both sides of the argument, try to provide a more in-depth exploration of each viewpoint. Offering more specific examples and details would help in strengthening your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure accuracy in language usage and try to avoid small grammatical errors. Polishing these areas can enhance your overall communication and clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the arguments effectively.
complete response
The essay covers both viewpoints of the argument, fulfilling the requirement of a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as the ozone layer and COVID-19, are used to illustrate points in the essay. This adds value to the arguments presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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