Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

There is an opinion that young adults should work with no salary in order to help society. Despite the many drawbacks that may derive from
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trend, I believe that no-salary jobs are predominantly advantageous to themselves.
This
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essay will support
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argument by analyzing some reasons. On the one hand, it is undeniable that unpaid occupations are detrimental to some extent.
To begin
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with,
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is a time-consuming job for juveniles.
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could be exemplified that these works will take time, energy, effort and
also
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determination, hindering them from promoting abilities in the workplace and making them less inspired in their work.
In addition
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, the disadvantage of
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serious issue is related to affordable households. It is not impossible that they will not have enough finances to make a living in their daily life, and
also
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causes some unemployment.
On the other hand
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, I still claim that these downsides could be outweighed by the benefits. The first benefit is the behavioural improvements in the contemporary world. By helping those who are underprivileged or less fortunate. Only from
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perspective do they nurture their good manners and become a good citizen. If the volunteers consistently do
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for a long time, they will have a chance to acquire some soft and practical skills which may be beneficial for them in their career path.
Secondly
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, unpaid jobs play a vital role in strengthening the bonds between humans. Thanks to
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, a moral and well-being society will be formed and established, contributing to the glory of the country. In conclusion,
while
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the drawbacks of
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issue are recognized, I believe that they pale in comparison with the positive aspects.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stay focused on it.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in the main body.
task achievement
Add a more detailed explanation of how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you explain it well in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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