IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often said that governements spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

There is ongoing debate about whether
wildlife
Use synonyms
conservation
Use synonyms
 projects deserve
this
Linking Words
 attention or not.
While
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 Linking Words
Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
show examples
 of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. some claim that natural
life
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 should be prioritized, I firmly believe that there are more crucial challenges
such
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 as education and healthcare.
Moreover
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, the
wildlife
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 covers a minor proportion of the world's population.
Firstly
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, healthcare and education are essential elements for countries' development across all sectors. High-quality hospitals and a variety of learning methods significantly contribute to community growth.
Moreover
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, populations with well-being health and high education levels tend to participate in society's improvement compared to others. In fact, a sustainable
life
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 requires healthy individuals
as well as
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 scientists, engineers, and doctors more than
wildlife
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.
Secondly
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, both animals and plants only play secondary roles in
life
Use synonyms
's consistency. Individuals are the main ones responsible for most of the
life
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 dynamic.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, investment in community projects is reflected indirectly in
wildlife
Use synonyms
conservation
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.
For instance
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, countries that provide high-quality
life
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 with different facilities are more likely to grow in different sectors including
wildlife
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,
according to
Linking Words
 a 2022 survey conducted by International
Wildlife
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Conservation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
wildlife
Correct your spelling
Wildlife Conservation
show examples
conservation
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.
To sum up
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, I totally believe that,
wildlife
Use synonyms
 should be less concern and the government should focus more and more on community projects to be able to participate in country development across all subjects.

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task achievement
A clearer introduction with a direct thesis statement would help set up your argument better. Try to state your opinion clearly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, especially in the second paragraph, to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check your linking words to ensure they connect ideas clearly without confusion. Use simpler phrases to create smooth transitions.
task achievement
Your opinion on the importance of healthcare and education compared to wildlife is clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have made efforts to structure your essay into paragraphs, which is a good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • governments
  • spend
  • money
  • projects
  • protect
  • wildlife
  • important
  • agree
  • disagree
  • balance
  • investing
  • benefits
  • eco-tourism
  • health
  • natural
  • areas
  • biodiversity
  • food security
  • environmental balance
  • ignoring
  • extinction
  • species
  • ecosystems
  • resources
What to do next:
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