IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instances for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The debate of whether natural talent or hard work is the key to success continues. It is a common belief that natural gifts for a few activities,
such
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 as sports and music, are only present in certain individuals from birth.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that these talents can be cultivated. In my view, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who spend the time and effort to learn can eventually surpass those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 rely on pure talent. On one hand, certain innate aptitudes for certain pursuits
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 that individual an advantage in understanding or mastering that skill.
For example
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, some are born with perfect pitch, in which they are able to identify and reproduce musical notes without any help.
Thus
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,
this
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 gift enables them to learn much quicker than an average individual, and faster excel in the music industry.
This
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 ability is not transferable
due to
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 the different structures in the brain,
therefore
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 not everyone will be able to learn
such
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 a skill.
On the other hand
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, determination and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 can sometimes triumph over those that do not hone their inherent abilities.
For instance
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,
while
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 those born with instinctive hand-eye coordination tend to perform better for sports,
people
Use synonyms
 who spend longer hours to refine and strengthen not only their visual-motor coordination
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 their physical fitness, will be able to achieve better results.
Similarly
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,
while
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 having inborn musical talent can
initially
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 assist their learning, the development of musical creativity comes from practice. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals do not have inherent characteristics that can help them pick up certain skills, the resolution to make up for what they lack is the most important. Talented
people
Use synonyms
 who do not refine their techniques will not be able to display their capabilities,
thus
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 rendering their in-born aptitudes useless.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state a personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen your position.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments for better clarity and depth.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion well and gives a clear overview of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have effectively demonstrated the balance between innate talent and hard work.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint clearly and effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate talent
  • predisposition
  • genetics
  • psychology
  • natural abilities
  • disciplined practice
  • child prodigy
  • rigorous training
  • stimulating environment
  • nurturing talents
  • perseverance
  • dedicated effort
  • compensate
  • initial advantage
  • inherent ability
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