IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates information about
Use synonyms
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 that
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 government
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on AED in 2000. The total expenditures
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 315
billion
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest
budget
Use synonyms
 was Social
security
Capitalize word
Security
show examples
 AED, followed by Health and
personal social services
Correct your spelling
Personal Social Services
show examples
 AED and Education AED.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on Debt interest AED and Other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 AED
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 similar. The lowest
budget
Use synonyms
 was Transport AED.
This
Linking Words
 analysis will focus on the fields which had more
money
Use synonyms
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In 2000,
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 government had spent 100
billion
Use synonyms
 for Social
security
Capitalize word
Security
show examples
, making it the highest
budget
Use synonyms
 in the chart.
In addition
Linking Words
, 53 and 38
billion
Use synonyms
 was spent on Health and personal social services AED and Education AED in 2000 by
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 government.
Conversely
Linking Words
, just 9 million of the total
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent
Transport
Change preposition
on Transport
show examples
 AED, the lowest feature in the pie chart. Moving on to other features in
further
Linking Words
 detail, the same amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on Debt interest and Other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 AED, at 23
billion
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 2000, just 17
billion
Use synonyms
, 13
billion
Use synonyms
 and 15
billion
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 spent on Law and order; Industry, Agriculture& Employment AED; Housing the Heritage and Environment AED, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words money, billion, budget with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: