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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

#people #work #hours #employers #employees #lives
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Long working
hours
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 are the norm these days. In
this
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 age of intense competition and layoffs, people are forced to spend an inordinate amount of time at the workplace.
This
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 affects their
work
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-life balance and puts them under tremendous pressure. Unfortunately, working long
hours
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 affects the health and
overall
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wellbeing
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well-being
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 of
employees
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. They feel stressed out all the time. They have no time for their family.
Consequently
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, problems may arise at home. In the long term, prolonged
work
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hours
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 will start affecting the productivity of
employees
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.
While
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 companies have the option to sack an underperforming employee and hire another person,
this
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 situation is highly disadvantageous for the poor employee. There are lots of things that
employers
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 can do to improve the situation.
First,
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they need to realize that longer working
hours
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not mean more productivity. The human brain is not designed to
work
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 at the optimum level for several
hours
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 on end. After a few
hours
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, concentration levels will fall and productivity will
get
Verb problem
be
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 affected. To prevent
this
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 situation,
employers
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 need to enforce fixed working
hours
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. Of course, there may be situations where
employees
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 have to put in more
hours
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. In
such
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 situations, it is important to compensate them by offering overtime pay. They should
also
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 consider offering other non-monetary incentives. If
employees
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 feel that they are adequately rewarded for their hard
work
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, they are less likely to feel resentment towards
the
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their
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employers
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. In conclusion, by
good
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apply
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compensating
employees
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 for the
hours
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 they
work
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,
employers
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 can reduce their stress levels to a great extent.
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task achievement
You've provided a well-rounded response to the task prompt, identifying key reasons why people are working longer hours and offering realistic solutions for employers. The main points are clear and relevant. However, some additional specific examples and details could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Main points are developed and sequenced well. However, you might want to consider enhancing the transition between paragraphs slightly for even better coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction that sets the stage and a concise conclusion that summarizes your main points. This gives your essay a well-rounded structure.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive and complete response to the task, addressing both why people are working longer hours and what employers can do to alleviate the situation. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. You have clearly separated your points into distinct paragraphs, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is clear and effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your overall argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout: A state of physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by prolonged stress.
  • Telecommuting: Working from a location outside of the traditional office environment, usually from home.
  • Work-life balance: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • Flexible working hours: A system that allows employees to choose their working hours within certain limits.
  • Occupational wellbeing: The overall mental, physical, and emotional health of an individual in relation to their job.
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