IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As a results of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is an growing demand for more flights. what problems does this have on the environment? what measures could be taken to solve the problem?

Despite that the tourism sector is thriving and flourishing, several detrimental effects can emerge on the environment.
This
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 essay will highlight a plentiful of solutions to address
this
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 issue. Nowadays, we witness an increasing tendency to cross our own borders and discover new cultures.
This
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 rising phenomenon has irreversible, adverse impacts on the climate and nature. On one hand, the surging volumes of CO2 emissions are deteriorating the atmosphere, expanding the Ozone layer
in particular
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.
As a result
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, there will be more access to unfiltered sun rays,
soaring
Verb problem
raising
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 the temperature and exacerbating the condition of global warming. By that, marine and land creatures will lose their natural habitats as well and
such
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 incidents will cause disruption to the ecosystem
due to
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 the loss of biodiversity.
In addition
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, various illnesses,
such
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 as skin cancer, can be developed by those individuals who spend longer hours working the Sun. Are there any alternatives to taking flights? The answer is yes. Governments worldwide can persuade their masses to spend their holidays locally. By that, families can
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 to nearby towns by electric cars or public buses.
Additionally
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, airline companies can implement two effective measurements. The first procedure is imposing environmental taxes.
Such
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approach
Correct article usage
an approach
show examples
 will help eliminate the number of passengers who book and take flights annually. The other procedure involves restricting the number of flights per month. In conclusion, tourism is a vital sector. Going from one country to another is a compelling and entertaining experience.
Nonetheless
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, societies must shoulder the responsibility of preserving the environment by implementing plausible solutions to mitigate any possible, future risks.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea. This will help your reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your ideas clearer and stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition'. This helps organize your writing better.
task achievement
You clearly presented the problem and offered solutions, which is important in this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were clear and relevant, providing a good overall structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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