In some countries, some high school leavers choose to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of these school leavers’ decisions and give your opinion.
After finishing high school, some students prefer to take a gap year
traveling
or working, before starting their studies at university. Change the spelling
travelling
This
essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of this
tendency before concluding that the former is more significant.
On the one hand, taking a stage off from studies is disadvantageous to some extent. Students may be suffering from peer pressure. This
is because they start their university education a time
behind their peers causing a delay in acquiring their bachelor’s degree. In addition
, The expense of taking a year-long break to travel could be a drawback. More specifically, If they choose to travel after finishing high school, they would have to pay a great deal of money for trip expenses.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that having a break between high school and university may sound like a good idea. One reason is that young people could broaden their knowledge and gain new skills through experiential learning. For instance
, traveling
abroad could help youngsters to acquire a new language, which contributes to developing their language ability. Another reason is that Change the spelling
travelling
this
decision would allow students enough time
to clarify their future careers. This
means they could take some time
off to find out what they are really passionate about, which would be vital for their career choice later in life.
In conclusion, while
it is irrefutable that taking some time
off studying to explore the world can cause disruptions to a student's future academic progress, I would contend that a gap period can also
provide an opportunity for individuals to be well-prepared for the future and expand their practical knowledge.Submitted by thaongoccc25 on
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Task Achievement
To further improve, try to integrate more diverse and specific examples to back your arguments. While the examples provided are good, adding more specificity can lend more credibility and strength to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor typos or grammatical inconsistencies, such as 'taking a stage off' which seems to be a typo for 'taking a step off' or similar. Even minor errors can distract from the strength of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting your thesis and summarizing your points convincingly.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages before stating a clear personal opinion, fully addressing the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs for each main idea, significantly aids reader comprehension and engagement.
General
You've used a range of sentence structures and vocabulary that effectively convey your points and demonstrate linguistic range.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?