IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important. *why might this be the case *Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is widely believed that owning a
house
Use synonyms
 is a controversial matter to be discussed.
While
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 some argue that owning a
house
Use synonyms
 is more critical than renting one, there is another opinion that opposes it.
This
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 essay agrees with the latter perspective, as owning a
house
Use synonyms
 can secure the family's future. One key reason is that buying a
house
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial because it can positively reflect on the individual financial status, as the rent will not be included in the monthly budget.
In addition
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, securing a residential unit is considered the primary goal for every working employee,
hence
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, securing
this
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 target may reduce the pressure. A good example of
that is
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 a survey conducted by Harvard Science School, which demonstrated that workers who already own a
house
Use synonyms
 have low stress levels; since their main target has been accomplished.
Nevertheless
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, some people are convinced that buying a
house
Use synonyms
 is the most expensive process worldwide resulting in debt-laden financial liability for a long period of time.
This
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 can be seen by the growing number of families who are suffering from consequences and overwhelming with their other primary expenses.
Therefore
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, renting can be a more practical choice that does not impose
such
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 difficulties, as it will not consume the individual financially.
Moreover
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, it is a safe option because in case the family is encouraged to live in another location, renting a new
house
Use synonyms
 and
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 the current one will be easier. In conclusion, despite people having different viewpoints, I tend to believe that
although
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 buying a property is not that easy process, it can offer a host of advantages rather than spending a massive budget on renting houses that are yours for a limited time.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state your position. Ensure it contrasts owning and renting more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your points flow logically from one to the next. Try to connect your ideas better with linking words.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points. Specific examples will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
task achievement
You used a relevant example from a survey which adds value to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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