Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children
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now are more passive in their spare
time
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than previous generations.
Hence
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,
sports
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lessons must be taught in school. I am totally convinced by the idea for some reasons mentioned in the essay.
Firstly
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,
children
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should spend more
time
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getting regular physical exercise, which is good for their physical and mental health. That reduces the number of young patients who suffer from obesity, diabetes, and health-related issues. The fact is that students who do exercise frequently are happier and more energetic. They are less likely to get ill.
Besides
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, when they take part in team
sports
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such
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as football and basketball, they can cooperate with others and develop their leadership skills and teamwork, which will prepare them well for their future lives and careers. It helps them shape their well-rounded personality and encourages their discipline,
time
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management, and resilience. Evidently, most successful individuals in their adult life used to do lots of
sports
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activities. Thanks to those lessons, they are well-disciplined and responsible.
Secondly
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, most parents lack the
time
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, money, and knowledge to let their
children
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be involved in physical activities outside of school since they are too busy with their jobs.
Therefore
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, when physical education is a compulsory subject, it ensures that no one is left behind. They all have equal rights to keep fit and stay healthy. In conclusion, the actual fact is that youngsters nowadays are less keen on doing physical activities in their leisure
time
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than their parents used to, which leads to negative consequences related to mental and physical health.
Hence
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,
sports
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lessons must be introduced to the school curriculum to make sure all
children
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get the benefits that
sports
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bring.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make your conclusion sharper by restating your main points more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to improve flow and engagement.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your ideas even more strongly.
task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the question clearly in your introduction.
task achievement
Your points about health benefits and the importance of team sports are strong and well-presented.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing shows good logical structure with clear main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical exercise
  • holistic development
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • leadership skills
  • life skills
  • cognitive function
  • academic learning
  • resources
  • facilities
  • community partnerships
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