IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Technology have developed very fast in the past 100 years. However, some people think that technology progress has brought negative effect on humanity. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The development of
technology
Use synonyms
 is
contantly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 changing. It has already integrated with our daily life, study and work. It is obvious that it brings us a
lof
Correct your spelling
lot of
show examples
 benefits,
such
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 as assisting us to do many things easier and faster.
Howerver
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However
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
progession
Correct your spelling
progression
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 leads to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on humanity. It may be true in some situations, and whether it brings more advantages or disadvantages to us,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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really depends on how the attitudes and behaviours of the
technology
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 users. First of all, lots of
people
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 believe
hat
Correct your spelling
that
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 the
use
Use synonyms
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 to communicate has brought negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on humanity. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 seem to
use
Use synonyms
 their phones, apps, and social media to contact each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 or update their status.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
 may meet face-to-face less than before
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of
technology
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become
Wrong verb form
became
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 popular.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 may say
technology
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have
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has
show examples
demaged
Correct your spelling
damaged
 the the relationships of
people
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.
This
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 phenomenon is just part of the whole picture.
Actucally
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Actually
, with the help of
these
Change the determiner
this technology
these technologies
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
,
people
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 can connect with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 and family more conveniently. They can contact each other anytime anywhere, still face-to-face through the Internet
Secondly
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, numerous
people
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 think that
technology
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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 students
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 their brains less.
For example
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, student
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use
Change the verb form
uses
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 AI to complete their homework or assignments without any learning.
However
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, if students have the right attitudes
of
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 how to
use
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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AI to assist them
to learn
Change preposition
in learning
show examples
, actually
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technoloy
Correct your spelling
technology
 can bring great impacts.
To conclude
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,
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 can bring benefits and drawbacks to us. If we can maximise its benefits and minimise its
drwbacks
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drawbacks
,
technology
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 definitely can help us to live, study and work more
efficiency
Replace the word
efficiently
show examples
 and effectively.

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Grammar/Spelling
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling carefully. For example, 'constantly' is misspelled as 'contantly' and 'a lot' should be written as two words, not 'a lof'.
Coherence/Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main point. You can use topic sentences to help guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you mention AI but don't explain how it can help students learn better. Give clear examples.
Content
You provide a balanced view by mentioning both the positive and negative effects of technology. This shows good understanding of the topic.
Content
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas well and makes a clear statement about the importance of technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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