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Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We live in an age when an increasing number of individuals are suffering from obesity. To solve
this
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 issue, others suggest that the
price
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 of unhealthy and fatty
food
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products
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 should be increased. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion, as there are other effective methods that can be taken to solve
this
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 health issue. A number of factors influence other individuals to think that increasing the cost of unhealthy and fatty
food
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products
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 can make
people
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 lose weight. The first possible reason is that some
people
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 do not have control, leading them to overconsumption. If government officials create laws mandating companies to increase the prices of their
products
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, consumers will be discouraged from purchasing
such
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 unhealthy
food
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. It is quite clear that the majority of
food
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products
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 rich in oil are affordable. If the government lowers the
price
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 of the
price
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 of organic
food
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products
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,
people
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 are more likely to choose to have healthy eating habits.
However
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, despite the aforementioned arguments, I stand by the fact that there are several ways to reduce the number of obese individuals. The primary method is to encourage the public to have a healthy and active lifestyle.
This
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 can be accomplished if the government builds sports facilities, leading
people
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 to exercise. Another solution to curb obesity in society is to launch health campaigns, educating
people
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 about the detrimental effects of fatty foods and the benefits of being physically active and eating healthy. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that increasing the
price
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 of fatty
food
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products
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 may be helpful, I would assert that there are several effective methods to lose weight.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences and use signposts to improve logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
Make sure all ideas are well-developed and explained in detail.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
structure
You present a clear opinion and structure your essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
argumentation
You acknowledge opposing views, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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