IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society others say that schools are the best way to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Who is affecting
children
Use synonyms
 to be good or bad
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society? The
Use synonyms
parents
Capitalize word
Parents
show examples
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
Correct article usage
a signeficant
show examples
signeficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. The
school
Use synonyms
 is
taking
Verb problem
having
show examples
 an important
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on them as
parents
Use synonyms
. The
parents
Use synonyms
 are putting the first block for the
children
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 life.
First,
Linking Words
they
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 the ethics that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 in life.
Second,
Linking Words
the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 can
observate
Correct your spelling
observe
 the
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 behavior when
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with others.
For example
Linking Words
, when the father
showen
Correct your spelling
shows
 some
marcy
Correct your spelling
mercy
 to homeless people the
children
Use synonyms
 will do the same without knowing why.
Also
Linking Words
, they will
sharing
Change the verb form
share
be sharing
show examples
 food with people if they see their mom cooking for the
neighbers
Correct your spelling
neighbours
. They can collect some good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 outside the home.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
 days,
children
Use synonyms
 stay at
school
Use synonyms
 for at least 8 hours so,
this
Linking Words
 is going to
enhance
Verb problem
help
show examples
 them to be kind
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 people there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some schools give the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 outside classes for full
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
comunity servies
Correct your spelling
community services
.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
thecher
Correct your spelling
teachers
teacher
 can
enhancing
Change the verb form
enhance
be enhancing
show examples
 the student to be good by observation.
For example
Linking Words
, schools around the world trying to add some
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
activty
Correct your spelling
activity
 like helping
olderage
Correct your spelling
older
 to cross the road or carrying bags for
pregnants
Correct your spelling
pregnant
show examples
womes
Correct your spelling
women
. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the
parents
Use synonyms
 are handed over
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 which
exceeded
Wrong verb form
exceeds
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
school
Change noun form
school's
show examples
 role so,
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 role take the opportunity
for teaching
Change preposition
to teach
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
. To summarize,
children
Use synonyms
 consider the future
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 any
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 and schools
both
Add a missing verb
are both
show examples
 of them responsible for teaching them to do good
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The
children
Use synonyms
 can observe from their
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 what
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 and bad which can enhanced by
parants
Correct your spelling
parents
 or
school
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly connected. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however', and 'finally' to help readers follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Try to give more clear reasons or examples to support your opinions. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
general
Check your spelling and grammar. Words like 'significant', 'teaching', and 'children' need to be spelled correctly to make your essay look polished.
task achievement
You have included your opinion, which is important for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your examples about parents and schools help to explain your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instill
  • fundamental values
  • empathy
  • social norms
  • organically
  • structured environment
  • diverse backgrounds
  • socialization
  • cultural understanding
  • educational programs
  • ethics
  • responsibilities
  • formal approach
  • comprehensive
  • consistent behavior
  • extracurricular activities
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
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