Some people think the government should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyles of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.( Health)

Using technology extensively has become a serious global concern. A growing number of people now have access to digital devices
such
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as computers and smartphones.
Children
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,
in particular
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, are increasingly engaged in
video
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games
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.
This
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essay will discuss the major problems caused by
this
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trend and propose possible solutions. One significant problem related to excessive gaming among
children
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is a decline in attention span. Many
video
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games
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are fast-paced and highly stimulating, making it difficult for
children
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to concentrate on less exciting tasks
such
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as schoolwork.
For instance
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, studies have shown that
children
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who play
video
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games
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for long hours often struggle to focus for more than a few minutes in class. To address
this
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, governments could introduce regulations that limit screen time for minors or encourage parental controls to restrict daily gaming hours. Another major issue is the negative impact on
children
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's social skills. As
children
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spend more time interacting with screens than with people, their ability to communicate effectively may decline.
According to
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recent research,
children
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who spend over five hours a day on
video
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games
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experience a noticeable reduction in vocabulary and conversational ability. A practical solution would be to establish more community-based programs and youth clubs that offer face-to-face social activities, allowing
children
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to build interpersonal skills
while
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enjoying group interaction. In conclusion, the overuse of digital technology, especially
video
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games
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, can lead to reduced attention spans and weaker social abilities in
children
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. These issues can be addressed by implementing policies to limit screen time and by encouraging participation in community-based social programs.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples for each point to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the problem and the essay's purpose.
task achievement
You provide clear main points on the problems and possible solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • economic stability
  • national productivity
  • healthcare costs
  • chronic diseases
  • public awareness campaigns
  • subsidized gym memberships
  • socio-economic groups
  • personalized health plans
  • intrinsic motivation
  • government mandates
  • non-compliance
  • personal freedom
  • governmental intervention
  • personal responsibility
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