It is better to run your own business than to work for someone else. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?

Numerous individuals argue that running your own

business

is better than working for a

company

. I largely agree with those who prefer to work for themselves, but there are a number of arguments in favour of the opposite point of view. In

this

essay, I plan to explore both ideas and bring a few examples. On the one hand, owning a

business

is a privilege not available to everyone. To elaborate, a real businessman must have certain qualities, an analytical mind and management skills.

For example

, my father-in-law has described and

due to

them, he was able to launch his own shop chain in my country. Needless to say, owning a

company

gives the owner freedom of working hours and days, a sense of self-confidence and success,

as well as

the opportunity to have a fairly decent income.

For example

, the head of the

company

I currently work for has a well-known

company

in Canada and significant profits. Obviously, these facts make him a successful person.

On the other hand

, being a full-time employee of a

company

means not worrying about financial plans and not thinking about the risks that accompany any

business

Moreover

, an employee has a stable salary, and,

consequently

, a stable living standard. If a person is satisfied with his income, he will be probably happy. If not, he has a chance to seek for more profitable job, which is easier than to reform a whole

business

. In conclusion,

although

working in a

company

and earning a stable salary is more suitable for most people, still, having your own

company

provides more benefits to the owner, despite all the challenges and risks associated with it.

Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on Tue Mar 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and concludes with a clear stance, which is great for coherence. To further improve, try to ensure a smoother transition between the introduction of new ideas or paragraphs for enhanced flow.

Task Achievement

You've done well to answer the question comprehensively, including relevant examples. Consider exploring counterarguments in more depth to strengthen your task response. Besides, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea will enhance clarity and consistency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

entrepreneurship
autonomy
flexibility
decision-making
learning curve
personal growth
potential
income
risk
challenge
ownership
security
benefits
employment
work-life balance

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It is better to run your own business than to work for someone else. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?