New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In our rapidly evolving world, technological advancements are significantly reshaping how young people spend their free time.

This

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pervasive influence undeniably presents both advantages and disadvantages in

molding

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teenagers' recreational activities.

This

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essay will highlight the notable benefits and delve into the drawbacks of

this

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phenomenon.

To begin

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with, a primary benefit of technological devices for children is their immense contribution to education. Young individuals can now instantly access a vast array of knowledge from diverse academic fields through a palm-sized smartphone with internet connectivity.

As a result

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, educational institutions increasingly integrate both in-person and online classes to maximize the effectiveness of their informative courses. A clear example of

this

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was during the COVID-19 pandemic, when colleges and schools drastically shifted to virtual classes, successfully maintaining the continuity of learning and academic progress.

On the other hand

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, the detrimental aspects of modern technology profoundly affect the mental and physical well-being of adolescents, posing a significant challenge not only for families but

also

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for developing and developed nations alike. Despite the undeniable upsides of innovative technology, many young people become addicted to various entertainment platforms like TikTok or online gaming, leading to excessive screen time.

Consequently

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, younger individuals may suffer from issues

such

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as brain fatigue, weakened immune systems, and

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health concerns. In extreme cases, some children have even resorted to self-harm or threatened relatives when adults strictly prohibit them from using modern devices. In conclusion, technological innovations offer the world a wide range of high-level utilities.

Nevertheless

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, it is crucial for society to constantly remember their drawbacks, which can lead to the gradual decline of mental and physical well-being, particularly for future generations.

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coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, but make sure your body paragraphs stay focused on one main point each.

task achievement

Try to add more specific examples to strengthen your main points, as this will enhance your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Use linking words to connect your thoughts better.

strength

Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion on technology's impact.

strength

Good use of examples, especially the mention of the COVID-19 pandemic, to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

advantages
disadvantages
new technologies
children
free time
access
educational resources
information
development
key skills
enhancing
creativity
imagination
opportunity
connect
convenience
flexibility
lack
physical activity
potential
health issues
impact
social
emotional development
exposure
inappropriate content
addiction
dependency

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Scientists have been warning for many years about environmental protection and how important it is to limit our personal energy consumption. What are the causes of overconsumption of electricity? How can people be encouraged to use less energy?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays online shopping becomes more popular than in-store shopping. What are the advantages and disadvantages?