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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart give information on the aveage daily maximum and minimum temperature in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities

The graph and chart give information on the aveage daily maximum and minimum temperature in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities
The given graph and chart illustrate information about the average daily highest and lowest temperature and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of days with rainfall in two Australian cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, Australian towns are divided into
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 and
Canberra
Use synonyms
. It is remarkable that the peak point of weather for both
locate
Wrong verb form
is located
show examples
 in February,
while
Linking Words
 the coldest season is in June and July.
However
Linking Words
, the minimum temperature of these locations has a huge wide gap in degrees Celsius, with
Canberra
Use synonyms
 being colder than
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 by almost 10. To describe more about the rainfall, in the first quarter of the year,
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number
Wrong verb form
numbered
show examples
 more than half of
Canberra
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 next quarter,
Canberra
Use synonyms
 has just stepped up to have more in June by 3 days.
In
Change preposition
Third
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third,
Linking Words
Canberra
Use synonyms
 still has a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 amount of rainfall that
over
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other places. In the final part, the number of days is increased over the month for
Brisband
Use synonyms
 and dominates
Brisband
Use synonyms
 in November and December.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words brisband, canberra with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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