IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, many more will a choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think the advantages of this phenomena outweigh the disadvantages

In recent times, several individuals
prefer
Wrong verb form
have preferred
show examples
 to live solely
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in earlier times in many countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that the advantages of living lonely
such
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 as
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration
show examples
 of hidden talents and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 productivity outweigh
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 single drawback of helplessness in overcoming stress. The primary benefit is that living alone helps
one
Use synonyms
 to explore his inner talents and capabilities which results in
broadened
Correct article usage
a broadened
show examples
 horizon as
one
Use synonyms
 fears none and has no restrictions. In
isolation
Use synonyms
,
one
Use synonyms
 has time for oneself which can be devoted
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 self-discovery.
Also
Linking Words
, enjoying solitude helps
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 to strengthen his cognitive skills in order to improve the skills and become impeccable at it.
For instance
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, a renowned scientist at ISRO revealed in a podcast that spending his
the
Correct article usage
apply
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learning years in
isolated
Correct article usage
an isolated
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 place helped him to acknowledge
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his innate scientific interest which encouraged him to do
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 and experiments related to aerospace.
Hence
Linking Words
, his experiments were successful
due to
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 the enlightenment he experienced in
isolation
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, living in
isolated
Correct article usage
an isolated
show examples
 environment ensures enhancement of productivity as
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 can fully concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
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 performing certain tasks without any distractions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it lessens the burdens faced by
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
around
Change preposition
apply
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his family
due to
Linking Words
 which
one
Use synonyms
 becomes productive and
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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skills. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the greatest artists, Leonardo da Vinci, stated that he was able to produce more magnificent art pieces in lone
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 than in crowded places. The sole demerit of
this
Linking Words
 trend is that
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it becomes nearly impossible for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to overcome stress and
cope-up
Correct your spelling
cope
show examples
 with anxiety and depression in
isolation
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, loneliness weakens the relationships among family and friends which leads to extreme
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of
isolation
Use synonyms
 resulting in psychological problems. In conclusion, the merits of living so lovely and more prevailing than the demerits . The hidden talents' exploration and increase in productivity are the pros of
this
Linking Words
 trend,
whereas
Linking Words
, the incapability to overcome stress is the only disadvantage.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This helps readers understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'first', 'next', 'for example') to connect your ideas in a smoother way.
task achievement
Check for grammar mistakes, such as 'living lonely' which should be 'living alone'. It helps to make your essay clearer.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples for your points to make them stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay has good ideas and provides examples which support your points well.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which is great.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independent
  • freedom
  • choices
  • hobbies
  • peaceful
  • conflict
  • stress
  • lonely
  • isolation
  • expensive
  • bills
  • interaction
  • feelings
  • sadness
  • anxiety
What to do next:
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