The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyle? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

These days, the
Arts
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play an important role in our cultural diversity. Some people are asking if we could educate the
arts
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in the school curriculum
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In
this
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essay, I will explain
this
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argument and draw my personal conclusion.
Firstly
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, the
Arts
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are a way to express ideas and communicate concepts. Some people believe that they can express themselves through painting or drawing.
This
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can lead to being more mentally stable.
Secondly
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, the
Arts
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can be used as a tool of psychological therapy,which is useful in depression cases.
For instance
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, studies have shown a clear correlation between playing the piano and neurological activity.
Also
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, many physicians advise their patients to use techniques
such
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as drawing to allow themselves to feel more comfortable and relaxed.
Moreover
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, people can learn from the
arts
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and be inspired by them. Because the
arts
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teach cognitive skills like problem-solving abilities and memory, the
arts
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can
also
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improve brain performance.
Furthermore
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, the government should encourage and support the
arts
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in schools to create more creative and competitive environments for students.
In addition
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, Engagement in the
arts
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can enhance modern job opportunities , which are essential to earning money. Which can lead to promotions and higher salaries. In conclusion, the
arts
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play a vital role in our society, by using some type of art ,
such
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as playing the
piano
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piano,
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can be considered an effective therapy for psychiatric illness. So the government must ensure that steps are taken and support the
arts
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to be enrolled in the school curriculum to create a creative society.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. This will guide your readers better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connecting words like 'however', 'firstly', and 'moreover' more often to improve flow.
task response
Provide specific examples to back up your points. For instance, mention famous artists or specific psychological studies.
task response
Your essay addresses the importance of arts very well.
supported main points
You have used relevant examples about the benefits of arts, like psychological therapy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • cognitive abilities
  • self-expression
  • mental health
  • creativity
  • community spirit
  • empathy
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • educational curriculum
  • diverse perspectives
  • artistic expression
  • cultural identity
  • interpersonal skills
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