Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether competitive
sports
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should be part of a child’s
education
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.
While
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some believe that
such
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activities may be harmful to students’ learning, I strongly believe that competitive
sports
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play a valuable role in their development and
education
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views. Those who are in disfavour of
this
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trend point out that it may harm youngsters'
education
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while
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doing
sports
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activities.
For example
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, a student may injure a part of their body,
such
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as their legs or arms, during a workout, and
then
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struggle to write or attend lessons, seriously falling behind their peers.
Furthermore
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,
sports
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can affect students’ minds, as they may focus only on winning tournaments and devote more time to preparing for competitions than to studying. A group of young football players,
for instance
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, may be so determined to win that most of their time is spent training rather than learning academic subjects.
On the other hand
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, there are many benefits to doing
sports
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activities. First and foremost, it creates discipline and teamwork among individuals. These skills are extremely useful in
education
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because students may need to prepare presentations and divide tasks among group members.
Also
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, when someone wants to learn a new subject or language, discipline plays a crucial role in achieving progress.
Moreover
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,
sports
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promote physical well-being, which helps people stay active and be less vulnerable to diseases compared to those who do not exercise. In conclusion,
while
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competitive
sports
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may have some drawbacks,
such
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as a higher risk of injury or being too focused on winning, I believe they offer more advantages. They help children build discipline, understand the value of teamwork, and support a healthy, active lifestyle.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. A stronger opinion statement can guide the reader better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make the connection between your points clearer. Use linking words to help the reader follow your ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to support your view. This will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • resilience
  • personal development
  • professional success
  • physical health
  • healthy lifestyle
  • obesity
  • real-world challenges
  • work ethic
  • cope with pressure
  • stress
  • burnout
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic expectations
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • bullying
  • moral values
  • sportsmanship
  • overemphasis
  • academic pursuits
  • imbalance
  • undervalue
  • athletic success
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