Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
education
Use synonyms
is one of the most important parts of a young person’s life.
While
Linking Words
it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
show examples
held belief that
students
Use synonyms
should remain in full-time
education
Use synonyms
until they are 18, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes that idea. Some
people
Use synonyms
think that teenagers should be free to leave
school
Use synonyms
earlier if they want to work or learn a new skill. In my opinion, I consider that young
people
Use synonyms
should stay at
school
Use synonyms
until they are at least 18 years old, as it provides them with more knowledge, skills, and time to grow.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
education
Use synonyms
helps young
people
Use synonyms
to build their future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and prepare for the job market.
In other words
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
gives them knowledge and skills that are needed for jobs
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and daily life.
In addition
Linking Words
, if teenagers leave
school
Use synonyms
early, they may not have enough qualifications to find good jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, most modern jobs require a high
school
Use synonyms
diploma or more. Another point to consider,
school
Use synonyms
helps
students
Use synonyms
to become more mature and responsible before entering the real world. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that youngsters under 18 are usually not ready to handle adult responsibilities
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
offers social activities that help
students
Use synonyms
grow personally.
For instance
Linking Words
, they learn how to work in a team, respect others, and solve problems. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
having different views, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
must be required to stay in full-time
education
Use synonyms
until the age of 18

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Strengthen your examples to make them more specific and relevant to your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Add more linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets the stage for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: