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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. Discuss both views and qive your opinion.

Television
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 has become a major part of
children
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's lives, and its influence on their development is widely debated. Some argue that the
content
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children
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 watch has a greater impact on their behaviour,
while
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 others believe that the total
time
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 spent in front of screens plays a more significant role.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why I believe the nature of the
content
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 is the more decisive factor. On one hand, many people assert that excessive screen
time
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 negatively affects
children
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’s behaviour. They argue that prolonged exposure to
television
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 reduces physical activity, affects sleep patterns, and weakens attention spans.
For instance
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,
children
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 who spend hours watching TV may develop sedentary lifestyles, which could lead to health issues and reduced social interaction.
Moreover
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, too much screen
time
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 can interfere with academic performance and reduce face-to-face communication, both of which are vital for a child’s emotional and cognitive growth.
On the other hand
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, it is widely believed that the type of
content
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children
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 consume has a far deeper impact on their attitudes and actions. Young minds are impressionable, and what they see on
television
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 can shape their understanding of the world.
For example
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,
children
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 who regularly watch violent or aggressive programs may begin to imitate those behaviours, assuming they are acceptable.
In contrast
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, educational or morally driven programs can foster empathy, cooperation, and critical thinking.
Therefore
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,
content
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 that promotes positive values can help develop well-rounded individuals,
while
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 harmful
content
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 can reinforce negative patterns. In my opinion,
while
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 the duration of screen
time
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 does matter, the
content
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children
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 are exposed to plays a more critical role in influencing their behaviour.
Children
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 tend to model the actions and language of the characters they see on
television
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. As
such
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, quality and supervision are far more important than simply limiting viewing hours.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define both viewpoints in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas between sentences.
task achievement
Add more specific examples for your points to strengthen your argument.
content
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main argument.
coherence
The essay has a logical structure and flows well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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