Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, many children have interacted with their mobile phones for hours each day. With the development of

smartphones

Use synonyms

and technology, it is hardly surprising that people are becoming more prone to use their phones, but whether

this

Linking Words

has a positive or negative impact greatly depends on the purpose of the usage and the number of hours spent. First and foremost, one of the reasons why young folks spend most of their time on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

is that they contain websites and applications that are addictive and absorbing. Applications like TikTok, YouTube, and online games are often considered fascinating and entertaining as

these

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

allow youngsters to explore the upcoming trends and interact with their friends, which can play a significant role in teenagers' lives.

In other words

Linking Words

smartphones

Use synonyms

can help relieve boredom since these applications have multiple unique contents

as well as

Linking Words

activities to do.

However

Linking Words

, whether

this

Linking Words

trend in children is beneficial or not can be challenged. Some teenagers use their time researching useful materials and information for their projects and studying sessions , which can keep their minds sharp and productive. As long as the time spent on mobile phones is balanced with other, healthier pursuits, it can be constructive.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, mindlessly consuming too much social media can negatively impact one's health and lifestyle as it can cause them to lose touch with reality.

Overall

Linking Words

, I believe that the use of

smartphones

Use synonyms

is beneficial as they have become tools to explore and relieve boredom and stress.

While

Linking Words

these gadgets can be advantageous, they should not be overconsumed and replace healthier leisure activities.

munvinder1265

Jul 17, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main point. A clear main idea in each paragraph helps the reader understand your essay better.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to back up your main points. This will help to make your argument stronger and clearer.

coherence and cohesion

You had a good structure, but linking words can be improved. Using words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' may help the flow of your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic, which is important in IELTS writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice
First of all, I feel really sorry that you are not really settling into your new school. I thought I would write back with a few suggestions as to what you can do to improve the situation. When I first moved to new school, I felt this way too. So, it’s a quite normal feeling.
6.5
band
In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment?
Some brands underline that their products are new, they show it in their advertising. I see that is important for them so they can sell a satisfying number of products, but I don't really think it is positive.
7
band
In modern society, many people think primary schools should teach science and technology rather than history and geography, which are useless and boring. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The matter of the fact is that modern society expects its students and prospective professionals with an all-round pool of knowledge and skills. The topic statement clearly plays favourite with sciences while belittling liberal arts, which, in my view, is biased and misleading, and may also cause negative influences among students.
7.5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.
6.5
band
A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.
There is no denying the fact that every criminal has to get the right punishment for him. While it is a commonly held belief that prison is a criminal place, there is also an argument that opposes it . In my opinion, I consider that the child was guilty and he deserves a more suitable punishment.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment?

In modern society, many people think primary schools should teach science and technology rather than history and geography, which are useless and boring. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.