Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Presently, it is a prevailing phenomenon that the majority of the population of each
society
are working 9 to 5 or even 9 to 6 in some countries. Many work
overtime during unsocial hours, early in the morning, late at night, or on holidays. Some people
assert that the working days must be reduced in order to benefit the individuals. I therefore
attempt to outline some possible reasons for this
, predicting the obstacles that might be encountered.
Obviously, having more free time
would be beneficial for each person, as it would allow them to spend time
with their family members and do recreational activities. Firstly
, devoting time
to family members would possibly prevent domestic problems, which could lead to the distribution of broken homes, single parents, and adopted children. Furthermore
, they would have far more time
doing hobbies like art, music or sports. This
can positively affect and improve the soft skills necessary for work
, such
as concentration and continuous effort, which are an indispensable part of learning to do any artwork or play a musical instrument. Therefore
, by giving more time
to family and their interests, people
can create a close-knit family that could be felt in society
and also
master some crucial skills, optimizing their working time
tasks.
On the other hand
, lower incomes would damage workers’ quality of life unless they are paid as much as they have been paid. If decreasing the number of working days means that employees would earn less money, facing general nonacceptance by the labor
community. Change the spelling
labour
However
, this
problem could be solved by the intervention of the government, managing a flawless timetable, and supporting citizens to compensate for their earnings loss. In addition
, expectations of people
have been increasing, especially during the last
century due to
the advent of technology, and as a result
, they tend to work
overtime, to improve the standard of their life. So, it is for the government to control how much people
work
.
In conclusion, I maintain that limiting the working time
society
members are undertaking can have merits for both individuals and the society
itself. They can master different activities and subsequently
use them to increase the pace of procedures in their workplace. However
, this
could be practical only with government assistance and by precise planning and paying support.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Examples
Great job in clearly stating your arguments and supporting them with concrete examples. Continue to refine your example selection to further strengthen your argument.
Structure
Keep up with the logical flow of your essay. Your transitions between paragraphs are smooth, which helps in maintaining the reader's interest.
Balanced Argument
Consider elaborating a bit more on counter-arguments to create a more balanced view before concluding. This could add depth to your essay.
Introduction/Conclusion Link
You've done well in linking your introduction to your conclusion, creating a cohesive and compelling narrative. This approach is commendable and should be maintained.
Examples
Effective use of specific examples from a broad range of perspectives.
Coherence
Excellent organization and coherence in presenting ideas and arguments.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, providing a strong final statement to your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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