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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that competition at work, school and in daliy life is a good thing, others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather competing against each other. discuss and give opinion.

There is always an argument about whether
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 as a team or as individuals against others . From my perspective, folks should cooperate more than
work
Use synonyms
 alone like wolves. On one hand, competition could improve humans' working abilities because the crowd have to rely on themselves whether in
work
Use synonyms
, school or daily life.
For example
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, we need to take any kind of exam by ourselves rather than in a group.
In contrast
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, when
people
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 face
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 time of
cooperation
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
 means that they have to tackle communication, which means it could take a lot of time.
Therefore
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, there are some companies that tend to apply the competing form,
such
Linking Words
 as Netflix.
Although
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 the working form of competition does have its benefits,
cooperation
Use synonyms
 still offers us more advantages,
such
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 as increasing job opportunities. The reason is that the productivity of a person is limited;
however
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, if
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in a group, the more
people
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 there are, the more productive they can be.
For example
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, when we do our final presentation in college, it is far easier to achieve the goal with group
cooperation
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, there are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to
work
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 together rather than addressing tasks alone. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
cooperation
Use synonyms
 brings more advantages than competition because it will create more career choices.
While
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 working in an individual form could improve
people
Use synonyms
's abilities in many aspects, productivity is still lower than a team.
Therefore
Linking Words
, my view is that
people
Use synonyms
 should cooperate more rather than compete with each other.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and examples to support it.
task achievement
Provide more examples from various situations to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words like 'firstly', 'for example', 'in conclusion' to help the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
There are good points about both competition and cooperation.
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