Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both approaches. which do you think is a better approach?

There is no denying the fact that the choice between self-employment and working for an organisation is a significant one that impacts individuals' careers and lifestyles.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that both approaches offer distinct benefits and drawbacks depending on personal preferences and circumstances, there is an argument that opposes
it
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this
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. In my opinion, I consider that working for a
company
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is generally a better approach for most people
due to
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its stability and structured environment.
To begin
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with, self-employment offers unparalleled autonomy and potential for higher earnings.
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, entrepreneurs have complete control over their projects, schedules, and the direction of their business, allowing for greater flexibility and the chance to directly reap the rewards of their hard work.
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, the sense of accomplishment from building something from scratch can be incredibly fulfilling.
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, a freelance designer can choose their clients and work hours, potentially earning more per hour than an employed counterpart.
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,
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path
also
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entails significant risks, including inconsistent income, long working hours, and the burden of managing all aspects of the business alone. Another point to consider, working for companies or institutions provides stability, benefits, and opportunities for structured growth. It is possible to say that
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employees often enjoy a steady salary, health insurance, retirement plans, and paid leave, which offer a strong sense of financial security and work-life balance.
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, companies typically provide clear career paths, training programs, and a collaborative environment where individuals can learn from colleagues and advance within an established structure.
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, a software engineer at a large tech
company
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has access to a predictable income, a team to share responsibilities with, and opportunities for promotion or specialisation within the
company
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.
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there might be less autonomy, the reduced personal risk and comprehensive support systems are often more appealing. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that
while
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self-employment offers attractive freedom and high reward potential, the stability, benefits, and structured career progression inherent in working for a
company
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or institution make it a more advantageous and sustainable choice for the majority.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to restate your main points in the conclusion for clarity.
task response
You provided clear ideas but could develop your arguments more fully in the body paragraphs. Adding examples and details will strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make your transitions between points smoother. This will help the flow of your essay and improve its clarity.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion and supported it with relevant points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, and you effectively compare self-employment and working for a company.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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