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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makes comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makes comparisons where relevant.
The map above
gives
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the change in a bookshop in 2000 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the left side of the bookstore has undergone significant changes, two
bookshelves
Use synonyms
 near the entrances
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the service
desk
Punctuation problem
desk,
show examples
 seem unmoved. In the right and central area,
bookshelves
Use synonyms
categorized
Use the right word
categorised
show examples
 with art, hobbies and cookery in the centre are replaced by reading areas with three tables now. A new cafe has been installed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the site of the former
bookstand
Check wording
bookshop
show examples
involving
Verb problem
specialising
show examples
non-fiction
Change preposition
in non-fiction
show examples
.
Bookshelves
Use synonyms
 for Travel and New books
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as Service
desks
Punctuation problem
desks,
show examples
 are kept till now. In 2000,
this
Linking Words
 row included 2 sections
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 were all dedicated to fiction books.
However
Linking Words
, for now, more book types have been added, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smaller division.Following the bookstore's entrance to the end, it starts with art, hobbies and cookery
bookshelves
Use synonyms
 moved from
centre
Correct article usage
the centre
show examples
 to. The next is the fiction book-selling case that has been shortened significantly compared to the past.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Non-fiction
booktypes
Correct your spelling
book types
 are now exhibited in a larger area.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bookshelves with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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