In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is controversial whether illegalising to exclude certain applicants on the basis of their
age
is a positive or negative development. In my view, this
is a progressive change. In this
essay, I will support my thoughts and make a suggestion at the end
.
On the one hand, it is reasonable that some employers prefer certain age
groups. To be specific, some jobs can be unsuitable for old people
or young people
. For example
, for construction jobs that require heavy lifting all day, young and healthy men would be a better fit than older people
. Similarly
, young individuals might not be prioritised for a director position if it requires many years of experience.
On the other hand
, there is a different opinion that believes a ban on excluding young or old people
from hiring is positive. The main reason is that employers can discourage a person's potential. For instance
, young people
can be quick learners and competent. Also
, old people
can contribute to a company by giving innovative perspectives. If a company fail to consider these factors, not only they will lose their potential asset, but they will limit an individual's full potential as well.
Another reason is that rejection on the basis of age
is a type of discrimination along with
sexism and racism. Despite the equal human right to work, if an employer skips an applicant due to
their age
or other factors regardless of their competence, it will lead to a toxic culture in the industry and affect some people
's well-being. In addition
, their decisions will reinforce the wrong stereotypes of young or old members of society.
In conclusion, Although
a few industries favour a particular age
group due to
the requirements of the position, I believe excluding these workers can affect many individuals and their companies in a negative way. Moreover
, more countries should implement a prohibition on age
discrimination in the workplace to protect everyone's fair right to work.Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response and offers a conclusion that aligns with the arguments made, signifying a well-rounded discussion which meets the requirements of a good task response. To improve, ensure that each point is equally developed with pertinent examples and that the conclusion succinctly encapsulates all main ideas presented.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that is easy to follow, with an introduction and conclusion that are clear and present. However, some main points could be better supported and expanded upon with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the coherence of the argument. Furthermore, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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