In some areas of the U.S., a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. What is your opinion about this? Agree? Disagree?

In some parts of America, adolescents are restricted from going out
during
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at
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nighttime
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night
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unless they are with a grown-up. I totally agree with
this
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because it is dangerous for young people to be outside, and they tend to behave irresponsibly when alone. Children should remain indoors at
night
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because it is not safe. Recently, it has been observed that violent crimes have increased during nighttime.
This
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is because there are fewer people in public during these hours, which makes it easier for criminals to act.
As a result
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, it is dangerous for teens to be alone at
night
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, as it makes them vulnerable and unable to protect themselves.
For example
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, in some areas of New York,
such
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as Brooklyn, it is very dangerous for teenagers to be outside, as shootings and stabbings happen regularly during the
night
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. The main reason parents impose strict rules is that children tend to act irresponsibly when they are alone at
night
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.
This
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happens because they often do not think about the consequences of their actions.
As a result
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, they are more likely to make poor decisions.
For instance
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, in the US, many teenagers engage in risky
behavior
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behaviour
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,
such
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as drinking alcohol, which can be easily obtained.
Therefore
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, having someone with them during the
night
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is very important, as it helps keep them safe and under supervision. In conclusion, I believe that adolescents should not be allowed to be outside at
night
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without adult supervision. Nighttime can be very dangerous, and having someone with them ensures they are protected and less likely to make irresponsible choices.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to help flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider adding a counterargument to show different views.
task achievement
The argument for safety is clearly stated and reasoned.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • curfew
  • delinquent activities
  • safeguard
  • instil discipline
  • anxiety
  • hazardous
  • infringe
  • social development
  • rebellious behavior
  • strain resources
  • critical issues
  • root causes
  • teenage delinquency
  • superficial solution
  • constructive engagement
  • unintentional bias
  • profiling
  • marginalized groups
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