IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times, and they think it is a waste of time to read any entertainments books.What is your opinion about this?

Nowadays, kids are more adaptable with technology , and a few of their parents want their kids to read solely educational
books
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. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. First of all, reading
books
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 plays a crucial role in shaping individuals and societies.
In addition
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, no matter what book they read , reading
overall
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 is important to build a good personality , especially for
children
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. A study published in New York in 2009 concluded that 90% of
children
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 who read both educational
books
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 and novels have excellent knowledge and critical thinking.
As a result
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, spending a lot of time reading both types of
books
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 will prepare the kids for accessing high-quality education.
Second,
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entertainment is good for preparing for a focus and receiving more information.
Moreover
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, every kid needs free time to play or chat with others or do whatever they want.
For example
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, letting the
children
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 choose the interesting book is essential to discover what they like, so they can keep going in a career they love or even a career.
Therefore
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, creativity is built from born at an early age , and
also
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 the interest. In conclusion, having a mentally healthy child and a healthy life starts with letting them have free time,
also
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 giving them a prize after they achieve something will make the
children
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 more creative and successful in life.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Try using paragraphs for each main idea and begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells the reader what it is about.
task achievement
Make sure your examples support your main points better. You can include more specific details or examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should state the topic clearly, and the conclusion should summarize your main points more effectively.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic and provide reasons to support it.
task achievement
You include relevant examples from your research, which is a good way to support your claims.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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