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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
The graph
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the ages of the
population
Use synonyms
 of
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 had the largest
population
Use synonyms
 aged 0-14 in 2000. The predicted
population
Use synonyms
 for
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy in 2050,
as well as
Linking Words
 Italy in 2000, are predicted to have the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 15-59. On the one hand, in 2000,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 had the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
aged
Correct pronoun usage
those aged
show examples
 0-14 at 50.1%,
while
Linking Words
 the
population
Use synonyms
 aged 15-59 accounted for 46.3%, slightly less than those aged 0-14.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
aged
Correct pronoun usage
those aged
show examples
 60 and above at 3.6% in 2000. At the beginning, Italy
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 15-59, accounting for 61.6%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2000, Italy’s
population
Use synonyms
 accounted for 14.3%,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 aged 0-14 accounted for 11.5% in 2050, with a difference of only 2%.
However
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 15-59 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will be 37% in 2050.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will have the fewest
population
Use synonyms
 aged 60 and above by 2050, with only 5.7%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Italy predicts that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 60 and above will be 42.3% in 2050.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, yemen, proportion, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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