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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
The charts illustrate the information of the
age
Use synonyms
 distribution information about the populations of
Yemen
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 and Italy in 2000 and
prediction
Correct article usage
the prediction
show examples
 for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 had a much younger
population
Use synonyms
 than Italy in 2000.
While
Linking Words
Yemen
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 is expected to maintain a relatively young
age
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 structure by 2050, Italy is expected to become a more
aging
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ageing
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 society, with a large percentage of people aged 60 or above. In 2000, the majority of
Yemen
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’s
population
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 young, with people aged 0–14 making up just over 50%, and those aged 15–59 at 46.3%. Only a small proportion, 3.6%, were 60 or older.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy had an older
population
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. The 15–59
age
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group
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 made up the largest share at 61.6%, followed by 60+ (24.1%)
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 only 14.3% were under 15 years old. By 2050,
Yemen
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 is projected to still have a youthful
population
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. The 0–14
age
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group
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 will drop to 37%,
while
Linking Words
 the 15-19
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group
Check wording
age group
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 is expected to rise to 57.3%. The elderly
group
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 will increase slightly to 5.7%. In Italy,
however
Linking Words
, the 60+
age
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group
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 will rise significantly to 42.3%, becoming the largest
group
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. The 15-19
age
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group
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 will decrease to 46.2%, and the 0–14
age
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group
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 will fall to just 11.5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, yemen, population, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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