IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Schools have a limited amount if money to spend. Some people suggest that it should be spend on good teachers,while others say it should be spent for computers.discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Educational institutions need to spend money
according to
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 the requirements of
resources
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. It is argued that money should be spent on hiring quality faculty,
while
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 others believe that buying
resources
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 like computers is more important for the development of
students
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. I will discuss both viewpoints,
while
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 in my opinion, management should acquire
resources
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 on the basis of demand or the situation. First of all, it is believed that a school is always as good as the quality of its staff. Good teachers can enhance the confidence of their
students
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 by motivating them, which results in better performance by their pupils.
For example
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, an experienced teacher has faced many different situations with various types of
students
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, which makes them more effective with a variety of learners. They can encourage weak
students
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 by focusing on them separately and boosting their self-confidence, so that they can work on themselves and bring out the best of their capabilities.
Secondly
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, school management should focus on buying sufficient
resources
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 for the
overall
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 development of their
students
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.
Due to
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 the limited amount of time a teacher can provide during a lecture to each of their pupil, it is crucial to have proper devices, so all learners can benefit from practical knowledge.
For instance
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, computers should be available in the labs
as well as
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 in the library, so that
students
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 can practice their classroom learning during their free time.
Due to
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 a lack of
resources
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, if
students
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 cannot implement their learning from the classroom,
then
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 they will never be efficient and will not excel to an advanced level.
Overall
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, management of institutions should decide where they need to allocate
resources
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according to
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 the needs of the current scenarios. Only focusing on teachers or computers separately cannot benefit young learners, but an
overall
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 balanced
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
 is required to make a proper learning environment.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents both sides well, but it could be clearer by stating your opinion more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve transitions between points to make the flow smoother. Use linking words such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
Task Achievement
In the conclusion, summarize your main ideas and clearly state your opinion again to reinforce it for the reader.
Task Achievement
You have good examples of how teachers and resources benefit students.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized attention
  • Adaptability
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Inspiration
  • Motivation
  • Lifelong learning
  • Irreplaceable
  • Modern educational technology
  • Early exposure
  • Interactive learning
  • Balanced approach
  • Technological aids
  • Future job markets
  • Need assessment
  • Investment priorities
  • Nurture
  • Educational software
  • Digital literacy
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