IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

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It is true in the present era, that to collect the increased need for
food
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 and grow up in a number of communities, a state should use good insectinsects as
food
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 for individuals. Others argue that
food
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 is not good for the nation, and will affect nature
in addition
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.
This
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 essay will delve into that phenomenon by supporting relevant examples. First of all, l consider
insects
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 to be very dangerous for personnel in general.
Due to
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, maybe it will reason of many diseases for
people
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.
Thus
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, can cause heart diseases, and Stomach diseases.
For instance
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, a study Published at Chain University in 2013, concluded that 90% of persons who eat
insects
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 suffer from a lot of problems with their health. Another , my friend when went to Japan in 2010, ate
insects
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 and felt pain in his stomach he was taken to the hospital quickly.
On the other hand
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, if
people
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 do not have enough
food
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 they can eat
insects
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, because they are forced.
Furthermore
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, the nation should help these
people
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 and choose them as healthy
insects
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firstly
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 like locusts.
Moreover
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, that will help the public to live life in the best way.
For example
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, in China; the government take good
insects
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 that are good for eating and gives them to the nation. I consider
that is
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 good. In conclusion, the individual should take care of
food
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.
As well as
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 the government should choose a healthy insect for
people
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 if they do not have
food
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. The outcomes of
this
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 phenomenon are not limited to the state only, but
also
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 to citizens in general.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that related ideas are grouped together logically.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and a clearer explanation of how your examples support your points.
task achievement
You addressed both the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects, which is important for a balanced response.
task achievement
You included some examples to illustrate your points, which adds value to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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