IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people of one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people of one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the different types of transportation for students of the university and others who worked between 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both 2004 and 2009, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to use a car
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 a bus.
Then
Linking Words
 the bicycle became the third one
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 liked it.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
bus was the highest method in 2009,
it's
Verb problem
accounting for
show examples
 around half.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2004 bus was 33%.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2004,
people
Use synonyms
 who liked cars equalled 51%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in 2009 car was 28% , means number of
people
Use synonyms
 who preferred went to school by car was decreasing over the years. In terms of train and walking , the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use
this
Linking Words
 type
unchanged
Verb problem
remains unchanged
show examples
, more than one or two. By 2004, the sum of train and walking was 7 .
Then
Linking Words
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 2009 reached 10.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: