IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Public libraries provide a large collection of books to read. Some people argue that they should also provide other hi-tech facilities like computers, Internet, CDs and DVDs. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Public
libraries
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 offer a wide variety of
books
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 for individuals. There are some who argue that they could provide technological facilities
such
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 as network access, CDs, DVDs, and computers. I agree with
this
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 view, as offering a variety of
services
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 and resources can significantly improve user experience and satisfaction.
Firstly
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,
although
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books
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 are essential in
libraries
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, today
people
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 need more than just
books
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.
For instance
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, many
services
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 like job applications, government forms, and school websites are found online. Not everyone has internet or a computer at home, especially in poor households and rural areas. If they offer these
services
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, a lot of
people
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 can use them easily.
As a result
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,
this
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 makes
libraries
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 more helpful, promotes equal access to technology, and serves different groups of
people
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 in society.
Secondly
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, modern
libraries
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 can
also
Linking Words
 support lifelong learning and skill development. One illustration of
this
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 is how students use computers for research, writing papers, and accessing educational content.
In addition
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, adults can learn new things, like languages or basic computer use, by using digital resources in the library. These additional
services
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 allow
people
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 to develop their knowledge
further
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. Some
libraries
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 even provide free training sessions or workshops, helping
people
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 stay updated in a fast-changing world. They become not only places to read, but
also
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 centres for learning and growth. In conclusion, public
libraries
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 should offer more than just
books
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. Doing so helps the community with studying, working, and performing everyday tasks. These extra resources make
libraries
Use synonyms
 more helpful to a wider range of users and create more chances for learning and personal growth.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and supports it fully. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to improve flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great!
task achievement
You have provided good reasons to support your view, and your examples are relevant.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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