IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that it is important to
test
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 new drugs.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that it can be unfair and unnecessary to
test
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 it on
animals
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, there is
also
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 an argument that it is important to
test
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 it on rats and rabbits.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, testing a new medicine on
animals
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 is vital.
In other words
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, for humans to take any drugs, they need to be tested on rats, so they can be safe enough to take them.
However
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, there are four phases for every new medicine in all countries.
Firstly
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, they
test
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 how strong it is and if it is deadly or not.
Secondly
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, it will be given to rats and see if they survive it.
Thirdly
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, it will be tested on 50 samples of humans over three years.
On the other hand
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, it may not be fair for
animals
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. It is possible to say that a huge number of rabbits die because of the need to
test
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 on them , which can be very sad.
For example
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, seeing
animals
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 die for people's health can be overwhelming, which is why there are many people who do not take any drugs
due to
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, harm to
animals
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, l tend to believe a drug needs to be tested first on
animals
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.
Furthermore
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, human safety is more necessary than animal and there is evidence that supports
this
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 topic.

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task achievement
Make sure to give a clearer opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to show the main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or data to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You express both views clearly, showing that you understand the topic well.
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