Some people believe that children spend too much time using mobile phones and computers. Others think that these devices are useful for their education and development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Nowadays,

technology

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plays a significant role in our lives. Some people believe that

children

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spend too much

time

Use synonyms

on mobile phones and computers,

while

Linking Words

others think these devices are useful for their education and development. In my opinion,

technology

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has both advantages and disadvantages, but excessive

use

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can be harmful to

children

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Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, excessive

use

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technology

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can negatively affect

children

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's eyesight and mental health.

For instance

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, if

children

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watch movies and reels late at night, they may go to sleep late and feel tired the next morning.

As a result

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, they may struggle to concentrate on their studies at school.

Moreover

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children

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who spend too much

time

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on mobile phones may have less

time

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for exercise and outdoor activities.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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technology

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can be very useful for

children

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's education. Students can watch educational videos, prepare for exams, and learn new skills through digital platforms.

For example

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, they can

use

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computers to improve their English and access useful learning materials.

Furthermore

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children

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can develop computer skills that may help them in their future careers.

Body paragraph 3

In my opinion,

technology

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is beneficial when

children

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use

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it responsibly. Parents should set limits on screen

time

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and encourage their

children

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to participate in outdoor activities. They should

also

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guide

children

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towards educational content

instead

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of allowing them to spend hours watching entertainment videos.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

technology

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offers valuable educational opportunities, but excessive

use

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can harm

children

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's health and waste their

time

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Therefore

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children

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should

use

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mobile phones and computers in a balanced and responsible way.

mudasarali0349

Oct 13, 2026

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task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make the answer stronger, explain more about how phones and computers help children grow, not only how they help at school.

task response

Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more detail. For example, say how learning English on a computer can help a child, or give one real type of learning video or task.

task response

Your examples fit the topic. Try to add one more clear example for each side, such as a child using a phone for a school task and a child missing sleep after playing games.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: first one side, then the other side, then your view. This makes it easy to read.

coherence and cohesion

The start and end match well. In the end, restate your view in a fresh way rather than using very similar words from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'For example', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' well. You can also use 'However' to show the clear change between the good and bad sides.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas could link more closely. After each main point, add one sentence that shows why it matters for children, school, or home life.

task response

You answer all parts of the question: the bad side, the good side, and your own view.

task response

Your view is clear: these devices can help children, but use should be limited and safe.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

You use a clear introduction and conclusion, and both stay on the same topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

255 words

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Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?