IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that commuting in the city by bus is ideal for both people and enviroment while others think its disadvantage out weight the advantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some
people
Use synonyms
 suppose that using
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
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 to travel around the
city
Use synonyms
 is great for both
cilivians
Correct your spelling
civilians
 and where they live,
whike
Correct your spelling
while
 others think
otherwise
Linking Words
. Personally, travelling by
bus
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 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 my cup of tea On the one hand, it is strongly
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
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 that commuting by
bus
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 is ideal for the
people
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 of the
city
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 and the
city
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 itself.
Firstly
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,
considered
Wrong verb form
considering
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 the escalating level of air pollution and noise pollution at the moment, taking public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 like buses would reduce the intensity of said problems by a lot. A
bus
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 can carry about 50
people
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, those are another 50 sources of air and noise pollution coming from their cars being eliminated. Another thing is the cost of travelling
aroud
Correct your spelling
around
 the
city
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.
For example
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, things like parking fees, fuel,
car
Correct word choice
and car
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 insurance usually can get uncontrollably expensive,
while
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 a monthly
bus
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 ticket won'
t
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 even be half as pricey.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 prefer not to take a
bus
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 rather
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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drving
Correct your spelling
driving
 themselves.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is indeed very inconvenient
have
Verb problem
to have
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 to wait for the
bus
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 anytime they need to go somewhere, and
also
Linking Words
, the risk of the
bus
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 getting late is very high during peak hours.
For instance
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, students might get to school late despite waking up so early, just because the
bus
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 couldn'
t
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 get there
in
Change preposition
on
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 time.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
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 goes
with
Change preposition
for
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 adults going to work by
bus
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
bus
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 drivers are usually
see
Wrong verb form
seen
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 as careless drivers, and in reality, they really are sometimes.
That is
Linking Words
 an enormous and unsolved safety hazard. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 prefer to commute by
bus
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 in the
city
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 because it is better for them and where they live, others don'
t
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 think so. Personally,
i don'
Use the right word
I'mn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 really keen on doing so. Simply because of the inconsistency
of quality
Correct word order
quality of
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 services that buses are giving me. Indeed
travelling
Punctuation problem
, travelling
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 by
bus
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 is excellent for the environment and is very economical, but
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 still prefer to be in charge of my own schedule and safety.

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task achievement
Your introduction has a good start, but try to clearly state your opinion at the end of it. This gives your readers a clear view of your stance.
task achievement
Make sure to add more specific examples to support your points. For example, you can give more details about how people feel about bus safety.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion'. This makes your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. Small errors like 'cilivians' for 'civilians' and 'where' instead of 'environment' can confuse readers.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with separate paragraphs for each view, which helps organize your essay well.
task achievement
You included some relevant points about costs and environmental impact, which improve your argument.
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