IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans show the ground floor of the library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.

The pictures constitute data about improvements of the ground floor of the library between 2001 and 2009 .
Overall
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,
while
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 the two left corners were replaced in many rooms, new gadgets were added. In 2001, once tables were set in place in the centre of the area , next to them were newspapers and periodicals . In 2009, tables remained;
likewise
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, they were increased in number. Newsagents replaced by films and DVDs. On the left part of the corner were self-help and history sections, which changed to different types , including history, fiction, self-help, kitchen, economics , and
lastly
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 is law. The entrance was situated at the bottom of the building, opposite the border
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 access was the librarian’s desk. The next sector to the right was the stairs. Altogether, three sides remain unchanged.
In addition
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, The top part was a fictional area in 2001,
then
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 it changed to children’s books, and on the lower surface there was children’s area was constructed to read books.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states what the pictures show, including their purpose and any significant changes.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear main ideas and link them effectively to improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your comparisons clearer.
task achievement
You described some changes well, such as the increase in the number of tables.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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