In some place, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Even recently, the old discussion of ageism is still a hot issue talked about by the people.
While
many individuals stand with the importance of the old citizens, there are
also
many folks from different backgrounds that hold the youth in a higher position. In
this
essay, I shall discuss points from both views before sharing my opinion about
this
matter. On one hand, the old generation is one of the main sources of information and knowledge. They are essential for the community because of their wisdom and long life experiences. The same quality is
also
the reason why individuals in old age are generally more suitable to fill the leadership role, in the hope of better judgements and decision-making capability.
This
statement is supported by the age restrictions implemented in many countries in presidential election rule.
On the other hand
, the said group
also
has their own problems. They don't have the same level of energy and movement as the youth, causing the latter group to be suitable for execution or a productive role in the community.
In addition
to that, the fact that younger people have longer years ahead of them is
also
essential for any exciting innovations that bring a better quality of life and improvements for humankind's future.
However
, inexperienced individuals, are still in need of guidance from experienced ones to not repeat the same mistakes made before. The importance of youth is supported by the implementation of prioritization in saving children in any emergency situation.
To conclude
,
while
both groups have their own strength and weaknesses it is important for them to collaborate together to achieve the same goal of the sustainability of our species. I personally argue that age is just a number because currently, with the advancement of our technology, even younger people can gain access to life experiences faster than ever.
Submitted by gurunnevada on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and that ideas follow a logical progression. Using a wider range of linking words would enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear introduction and conclusion. Although you provided both, they could be strengthened by more explicitly stating the essay's thesis in the introduction and summarizing the main points alongside your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Work on integrating more detailed instances or case studies that illustrate your arguments. Examples add depth and credibility to your essay.
task achievement
Address the task's prompts fully. While you have discussed both views and given your opinion, there is room to present a more nuanced analysis and a wider range of arguments for each perspective.
task achievement
To enhance the clarity of ideas, structure your essay so each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This helps the examiner follow your thought process and reinforces the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate examples that are specific and directly relevant to the prompt. Using more precise examples related to ageism and the roles of youth and the elderly in society would strengthen your argument and task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • respected
  • accumulated
  • heritage
  • patriarchs
  • matriarchs
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • trends
  • dynamic
  • heritage
  • progress
  • continuity
  • traditions
  • harmonious
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